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About Varied / Hobbyist LauraFemale/United States Groups :iconrecovery-thru-poetry: Recovery-Thru-Poetry
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Deviant for 7 Years
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Statistics 478 Deviations 810 Comments 8,512 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Not A Rose by unrealityxx Not A Rose :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0 Love Yourself by unrealityxx Love Yourself :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
The Hospital Visit
I took a blade and dug it deep
I told you a secret you could not keep
You told your mom, you told your dad
That was the last night of freedom I ever had
They took my blade, they took my knife
They took control of my entire life
And pretty soon they sent me away
To a “better place” where I could stay
Isolated from all my friends
I longed and yearned for my life to end
I couldn’t see their final goal
To try and save me, make me whole
I cried and stayed up night after night
Spit out my pills and started fights
It seemed as though I’d stay there forever
I couldn’t be with my family, unhappy together
That way at least I wouldn’t be sad alone
‘Cause it seemed like that’s all we’ve ever known
But in reality my parents were okay
It was really only me who felt that way
Somehow my attitude turned around
I started to know I didn’t need to feel down
I didn’t need to drag a blade across my skin
My negative thoughts couldn’t mak
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
Hope Believe Cherish by unrealityxx Hope Believe Cherish :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 3 Recover[ed] by unrealityxx Recover[ed] :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
Sylvia's Side
I cannot even bring myself
To put two parts into whole,
Cringe-worthy word
Plath, you’ve made a cruel mistake
Taken talent from this world,
But I bathe in the decision you made
Oh your death is one last thing this sad,
Pathetic girl has heard.
You tried to write and rewrite
Death out of your life
But the only thing that left your side
Was the last breath of your -cide
Cold, aloof
I make my final move
Sylvia, your legacy is something that I choose.
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 3
RTP Butterflyer 3 by unrealityxx RTP Butterflyer 3 :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0 Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness by unrealityxx Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness :iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 2 0
My Bffle
The sparkles in uour eyes make me smile
You light up my day when the darkness consumes my soul
I may be cold and broken
But your warmth when you hug me is almost enough to fix me
I find serenity in your laugh and peacefulness in your arms
You know the words to say when I'm feeling down
Catch me as I fall
Pick up all my pieces
And make me whole
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
Already Dead
I'm a million contradictions
Wrapped up inside my head
I would have killed myself by now
If I weren't already dead
This sickness is invading deep inside my mind
The of broken mess
That's too easy to find
I don't know why I'm letting go
"cause it's so hard to do
But i I find out, I'll let you know
So you can talk me through
I wish you wouldn't watch me leave
But I'm doing it real soon
I'm suffocating, I can barely breathe
And there's nothing you can do
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
Your sick and twisted words
Get caught inside my head
Telling me that I'm
Better off dead
But who are you to say
When I take my life?
Shouldn't it be me
That decides to end my strife?
But still you tell me things
Like "just go die"
And it leaves me to question,
Think, and wonder why
How can people live
With themselves at night
Knowing that their words
Might end someone's life
I'm standing here telling you
To really stop and think
Your words could make someone
Head over the brink
So before you speak,
Remember what I said here
You don't want your words
To be the last thing that I hear.
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
I'm a wreckless
at best.
Set apart
From the rest
Used and
Can you tell me
What's left?
When I'm just
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 7
Ballroom Hearts
Your scherzando heart dances in front of my own
And, just as quickly as it came, It's left and found another partner to walts with.
Soon the longing takes my hands
And leads me to the stage where
We will dance on final tumultuous tango.
Before the music begins, the rythm of the rumba flows through my head
Allowing me to dance to my own tune.
Your heart may have controlled me with its cha-cha
But i can merengue my way past the illusion
And onto the right path
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
No More Options Left
Broken butterfly wings
Falling at my feet
I'm the most hopeless person
That you'll ever meet
You smile as the tears
Fall from my face
I'm your little girl,
Your biggest disgrace.
You will never love me;
Not after what i've done
Scars along my arm,
This is the person I've become
You turn your back on me
As i lay here all alone
You left me to die
And cry all on my own
I hunger for the pain
And long for my death
It won't be too long
It's my only option left.
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
It's Too Late to Take It Back
Death's cold, bony hand grasps my shoulder
It's time.
I look back on the things I've done
And realize I never truly lived my life
But I cannot go back and I regret,
Regret the pills I took
And my wrists that I slit
The notes that could never truly explain
How I really feel about everyone in my life
Now in Death's embrace I am left
Cold, broken, alone
With no way to fix how I feel
And no way to fix those I left behind.
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 0
Without a Girl Like Me Around
I'm an empty broken mess
You'll find me shattered on the floor
Next to all my pills
'Cause I can't take it anymore
I am lying on the ground
In a pool of my own blood
I am gasping in the air
With the pain from what I've done
My tears can't run faster
Your lies, they won't slow down
You're better off in your own life
Without a girl like me around
:iconunrealityxx:unrealityxx 0 3

Random Favourites

Friendless wonder by psycho--analysis Friendless wonder :iconpsycho--analysis:psycho--analysis 25 4
i'll get there one day.
yes, i make whistles with willow leaves.
my therapist and my doctor and my psychiatrist know nothing,
and my therapist's office has beaches all over it,
do you know how distracting that is now?  
the mind makes all these associations and all of them
mean, i just want to stare at the sky with you.
"do you ever think you might be gay?"
[i'll kiss you without a shadow of doubt.]
i want to go somewhere else, where i don't have to deny myself,
and i don't have to wear long sleeves,
and i don't have to wear pants around the house,
and i want to be with someone who tells me i look good even when i don't wash my hair,
someone is so perfectly imperfect that i don't give a fuck what the world thinks.  
the girl i love, when i'm not with her my heart hurts.
fuck it, i'm not wearing shoes.
hello, i'm a girl who is clinging onto something, and oh boy,
does she need it to be something, because
she's hoping it's not nothing.  
i like gum with sand in it.
:iconnellie379:nellie379 4 12
it'll leave eventually.
dear girl,
when you are around me even the
polluted frozen lake looks beautiful.
if the world was all full of zombies all of a sudden,
i'd want you to be with me and fend them off.
them with their shopping-bag-plastic smiles and
voices that sound like when the plastic whips
in the wind.
gosh, your eyes are like the summer sun.
no, I'd like to think my eyes are more like
the dirt under a peach tree.
dear girl,
you are that feeling that happens when cold air passes by,
and in its wake it leaves a tunnel of no-space,
the vortex of breathes it takes and
goosebumps it gives.
you are that emptiness.
but oh, god, it feels so good on my skin.
a boy who is like the air on a warm summer night talked to me
[he has seen my underwear]
but i pushed him
and tried to fall into your cold ribbons of fresh, clean, cold air –
but i didn't catch onto it as i fell.
sometimes when i talk i can't breathe.
it is lovely to fall asleep in someone's arms.
it feels like th
:iconnellie379:nellie379 4 7
corollary reaction.
I'm regretful.
Why had I, all those times
said it without letting you know that I meant it?
was I never enough to please you? was I never able to grab your outstretched yearning hand?
I tried, oh god, I tried but maybe I distorted my importance
can I go back - of course I can't -
but if I could I would
I would not have checked myself, this goddamn self control
that held me back with tight-lipped smiles and
compromising okay-I'll-just kiss-her-cheek kisses.
I bottled myself up because I was getting too close to losing control -
I could make excuses as to why I am this way,
look back and analyze and make excuses excuses excuses
as to why I didn't kiss the only person I've ever loved.
But there are no excuses now.
I'm angered.
Again, I could give you reasons,
reasons why I'm a paranoid little bugger, but we can't go back and change that
I assume the worst
that what you did was a joke -
maybe you told him, mentioned me, how you had this girl, you see,
this foolish little girl,
who t
:iconnellie379:nellie379 3 13
can we?
you can’t hear me
well, it’s not like you ever could
if you move i’ll stop talking
because i don’t want you to hear.
i don’t want you to hear all the truths
i need so desperately to transfuse into your system
after i’ve been sustaining you on
nothing but untruths for so long.
if your breathing changes from an
easy flow of wide inouts to
catching heart screech hiccups, long racking
sobs, asthmatic wheezes and
five mile sprint gulping
i’ll know i’ve done my job
because i’ll have switched the message
running in roundabout loops through your ears
to this crackling fizz of
that is the truth.
your eyelids flutter and i can feel their breeze
so i’ll hold you closer
as you exhale warm moist in the sweaty dark hanging about us
because maybe actions are the truth
we’ve been missing
maybe these voices mean nothing
maybe my head is your untruth and your warmth
is just the untruth i need to drown in.
most perfect.
you know, yo
:iconnellie379:nellie379 8 28
can you.
everything goes quiet and fades into the background
so it doesn’t risk drowning out the silence in
the absence of your presence
my whole body is tense and knowing and waiting for
some relief like in those moments before
a yawn that never comes
and my eyes feel hot and want to shut so the
tears fucking useless don’t come anymore
just as you cannot either
and there’s no respite from this daynightdaynight hell
of catching breaths and hiccups and silent
full mouth till your lungs are empty screams
my spine hits the pavement as i curl up and bang my
wrists on the sandstone slanting step just pounding and
counting to a number where the pain kind of stops is lessened and relocates
to somewhere i can see
my makeup is on my fingers and the knees of my jeans
and it’s black and smudgy and mixed with water
in a shape that’s more real than you ever were
that dull dragging ache crawls up to the back of my throat
and just hangs there and recesses back into the walls
in waves
:iconnellie379:nellie379 2 7
woman with a greasy heart. by nellie379 woman with a greasy heart. :iconnellie379:nellie379 4 12 Skinny II by Topshop-Tot Skinny II :icontopshop-tot:Topshop-Tot 125 26 not skinny enough. by SeizingTheDay not skinny enough. :iconseizingtheday:SeizingTheDay 120 13 When the Silver Lining Shows by Thechildrensang When the Silver Lining Shows :iconthechildrensang:Thechildrensang 40 7


Apologies and Good News

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 19, 2012, 11:30 PM

Sorry to all the people who gave me favorites. i had so many that just piled up because i haven't been on in a while and stayed on the site, so i'm just saying thanks in my journal right now.

And now for the good news! :la: i got a tattoo! it's purpose: to remind me that i don't need to self harm and to keep me strong. January 21st and i'll be SI free for one whole month. :dummy:


Graphics by tyleramato
CSS by moonfreak
  • Listening to: the ruurrrr of my heater.
  • Reading: Perfect by Ellen Hopkins
  • Playing: Souls Calibur IV
  • Drinking: water


Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
i'm laura
i like love and listening.
my help website [link below] is called Recovery Through Poetry :]



Add a Comment:
Suicidal--Sweetheart Featured By Owner May 11, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Happy birthday
Lonewolfninja89 Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
happy b day
Nessie905 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for faving "Lost Innocence"! :)
FFairyy Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave on 'Hey You!' (: >♥<

Lovely DeviantID btw. (;
unrealityxx Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcomeeee. and thank you :]
BlackWingStudio Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave! I've got more awesome card alters going up all the time, so don't forget to check back or add me to your watch list!
unrealityxx Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
awesome! thanks for letting me know :]
Forbiddenynforgotten Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :D
mangomagic101 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
hey there i have been reading all your stuff and i was wondering wether i could talk to u i have just lost a good friend and i have tried to kill myself over the past few days, i have no one here for me at the moment because everyone knows i self harm and have got stiches from it, i don't have any friends and don't see the point in life anymore could i speak to u? possibly im here for u 2 if u ever need me (: x
unrealityxx Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
of coarse we can talk!
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